i'm only me when i'm with you (morningdew)

The beautiful moon was awake; therefore, Morningdew was awake. She had been unable to sleep, she had tossed and turned in her mossy nest and still, she felt no weakness in her limbs or heaviness in her eyes. It was all only in her heart. Six moons ago, her father had been slaughtered in the raid upon their camp by Riverclan as a justification for the apparent kittens drowning several moons prior. There was a darkness seeping into the forest, Morningdew had her own theories about it not that she really had anyone to talk to about it. Her mother was no slowly collapsing in on herself to the point that her leader, Rowanstar, had retired her to the elder’s den at such a young age and she might as well forget about her brother, he was not speaking to her again. Only Starclan knew why and she was not about to waste another thought on it.

Morningdew settled more comfortably in the boughs of the tree, a little nook that held her small frame many, many tail lengths above the ground. If she fell from that height, even if she landed on her paws [like all cats should] she might crack a few bones and that would mean staying with grouchy Grousejaw in the medicine cat listening to him mumble under his breathe insults and laments. No thank you, nope, nope, nope! She stared up into the silverpelt, the beautiful streaks of silver across the sky that glittered with the souls of her ancestors. Her father, Starclan, rest his soul, had taught her the history of her clan, and the famous cats who’s actions and deeds had won her freedom.

There was a sound below and a scent wafted upwards towards her, it was Rowanstar! Morningdew craned her neck around to see the smudge of her love in the dark. She shifted to her paws and weaved through the branches to stop above him. She was much lower to the ground now so joining him beneath the sky oak would be no challenge at all.

“Rowanstar, is that you?” she mewed quietly, peering over the branch at him. “Oh, dear, why are you out here all alone?”

Morningdew felt a flash of heat beneath her fur when he said his name, she watched him below her, giving her room to slip down beside him, and that was a silent invitation she could not refuse from him. She slipped lightly down the branches and landed with a light, graceful crunch on the drying summer grass. Her long fluffy tail swished back and forth as she rolled her shoulders, laying in the crook of the branches for hours on end could do terrible things to joints. The tension that still existed in the muscles bounded beneath his fur did not escape her senses; gingerly ran it along his shoulder. “I know what is happening, Rowanstar, but that does not mean I will deny myself the beautiful things Starclan offers to us,” she mewed. “Besides, I cannot sleep…I would rather not go asking Grousejaw for some poppy seeds, he says we warriors are addicted to them. Now would I like to lay in the warriors den and listen to some our…senior warriors snoring…I’m not sure how I have slept my entire life in that nest with some of those cats sounding like a storm!” she chuckled.

“You know what I think is going on? I think you are out here to think because you never get any time alone to actually mull over your thoughts. Especially our relation to Riverclan,” she mewed, moving so close to him that if she just inched forward a bit she might touch her nose to his and asked him boldly. “Or, you could just be out to see me? That has to be it, right?” but quickly, she withdrew herself, settling comfortable a tail length away, her dainty paws absent-mindedly tearing at the grass. There was a lot of reason to be afraid these days because only a few moons ago did the Magpiestar of Riverclan led the charge. She had been there in camp, having just brought her mother some fresh kill in the elder den, when the first of the Riverclan burst through the brambles. She had chased off one of the younger warriors but she did not escape unscathed; in fact, if Grousejaw saw her now he would be upset if her shoulder wound split open once more.

The moon was beautiful that night and so were the stars in the silverpelt, she would not deny herself that natural beauty or the good company of Rowanstar, “I tease, of course,” she mumbled. “Sleep does not come easy these days, I-I…am not afraid of what’s happening. I survived the camp raid, I chased off a warrior, and you know, no cat can climb a tree like me so, who would dare challenge me to that? I won the clan games two years running, thank you very much!” she purred.

ooc \\ in the books the clans had the whole apprentice competition yearly; that's what i am alluding to.

“I do!” she mewed a little too quickly and awkwardly turned a bit away from him, craning her neck up into the sky. “I think that you are an incredible leader, Rowanstar...there are...well...” she trailed off, her eyes growing wider as she looked into the silverpelt. It was hard to be a comfort. Who was she to her clan? She was a warrior, not a very big warrior, not a superiorly skilled warrior, just a very clever warrior who despite several odds had been made a warrior before her own brother was even given a glance. She was a cog in the dysfunctional hierarchy that had surprisingly lasted for hundreds of moons despite the presence of cats like her brother and foolish leaders. If there was no purpose, how could one describe the longstanding heritage that was fiercely guarded and protected by tooth and claw? Morningdew shuddered unexplainably, like she was cold despite the warm air. It was the wind. It felt wrong but Morningdew couldn’t explain why. Her ears pricked, listening for anything that would cause her to suspect danger. There was nothing out of the ordinary yet the sensation did not subside. Rowanstar made her feel crazy.

She turned her gaze back towards the tom, “I am not a very bright cat when it comes to diplomacy, my morals and ethics are complicated. I am...like the way the crows fly. I will fly above everything, even the tallest sycamore and the darkest valley, straight and true, to my destination. I will not…I cannot deviate from my course. Just like Riverclan and Shadowland will not deviate from their respective courses. Perhaps Starclan will give you the strength to turn the world beneath that path, huh? B-B-But…that’s nothing to really think too hard about is it? No...I don’t think so at all...we could just talk about other stuff like stars,” she mewed nervously, casting her gaze aside to her paws which had now made an almost bald spot in the ground.

She was inexplicably nervous because that statement she had made was probably the most intelligent piece of advice she had ever been able to string together in Rowanstar’s presence and that was a feat in it of itself. They had never discussed the politics of the clans and Morningdew only felt slightly resentful of that fact. Was she not important? Rowanstar had so many cats to deal with as a clan leader that he probably talked politics all day long and so, he needed a friendly cat to chat with occasionally. What had they talked about? The running of prey, the weather, and small talk mostly. There was never any real flirting. Was he embarrassed for other cats in the clan to know he fancied her? Oh Starclan did Sandflight know? What would she think?!

Suddenly, he was close, inches away from her. Had he been saying something? It was a delight to always see her? Oh my. Morningdew felt heat burn beneath her fiery ginger pelt, could Rowanstar feel it radiating off her in waves? Her mind was spinning as a hundred miles per heartbeat. A place in his den? No cat had ever told him that he snored before? What? Morningdew chuckled, trying to hide her nerves, she gazed back into his eyes, watching the starlight in them, “Oh, ho, ho, is that an invitation Rowanstar and do you use that on all the she-cats you fancy?”

ooc \\ rowanstar you are fiiiine.