[WIND] Spottedclaw

SPOTTED - for the Calico markings all over her back.
CLAW - for her exceptional strength in battle.

» broad-shouldered calico she-cat with yellow eyes

eyes - spottedclaw's eyes aren't unusual for a cats'. she has the typical yellow-golden hue.

fur - her fur is sleek and short, with her tail fur being slightly more course than the rest of her body. Needless to say, it's clear she doesn't take much time nr pride in her appearance. the texture of her fur has a rather 'dusty' feel to it at most times - she doesn't waste her precious time grooming if she can get away with it.

build - her build is fairly unusual for a windclan cat. she is muscular and broad-shouldered, which can easily be attested to her longtime hobby of tree and rock climbing.

small details - spottedclaw's paws are a faded pink-grey color and calloused, her nose is as black as the mask on her face, and her whiskers are wiry and often out of control.

others - spottedclaw has a puncture wound scar on the bottom of her front, right paw from stepping on a thorn when she was a kit. after a bout of fighting off the infection that followed, only a scar remains.

spottedclaw is very competitive, easily bored, and extremely ill-tempered. unlike most other clan cats, she is undiplomatic, believing in the use of brute force and coercion to get her way. spottedclaw uses the most foul language wherever possible, and takes maniacal glee in fighting battles. she has a changing but volatile attitude towards others close to her: although she might respect them, she is still mostly hostile towards them. being close to this she-cat doesn't mean she won't threaten to swipe you, claws out,  at point blank if you piss her off.

spottedclaw has very little remorse for her enemies and many times has often stepped on other clans for fun and to show them how weak they are. she looks at it as doing them a favor, by showing them their place. after an unusual upbringing, spottedclaw has developed an obsession with authority, over both herself and others. this causes her to appear fiercely independent and violently assertive, often using verbal or physical abuse as a response to anyone who crosses her or to assert her dominance. however, while spottedclaw initially appears to be tough, savage and strong-minded, her exterior actually covers up a profound lack of inner-strength and fear of the powerlessness she felt as a kit. her independence is actually more of a reactive attachment disorder, alienating others as much as possible to prevent the exposure of her own weakness and vulnerability. spottedclaw believes the chief source of power in life is status, and consequentially has developed an obsession with maximizing her own within the clan.

most others take spottedclaw at face value: as a sadistic, volatile, psychopath. and this is how spottedclaw thinks of herself, ignoring the emotional turmoil that fuels her behavior, possibly investing herself in this surface image to prevent others from discovering her emotional scars, keeping them hidden even from herself. However, if someone addresses her on a much more personal level, criticizing her amoral actions, it will cause her to properly think about herself and her lifestyle. This introspection reawakens a lot of repressed pain, rage and self-loathing for spottedclaw, which causes her to become furious. she will push those cats away and become more hostile towards them.

calling out spottedclaw's arrogance and shameless preoccupation with status exposes her masochistic inner cycle of self-pity (viewing herself as a lost cause). spottedclaw, who becomes increasingly violent and emotional in the face of the traumas she had feared and done much to avoid, feels that her inappropriate behavior has become the only way she knows of dealing with the problems and cats in her life.

spottedclaw, in her own emotionally crippled way, does have the capability to love, but her severe attachment disorder, nihilism, past traumas and violent temper prevent her from acting on her feelings. instead, she manifests them by being jealously possessive and protective of those she cares about, always being by their side and reacting with violent hostility to anyone she perceives as a threat to their safety or as a potential rival for their attention.

one of her funnier aspects is being quite forgetful, implying that her brash attitude caters to her stupidity.

positive:
» strong-willed
» authoritative
» protective
» (unintentionally) funny

negative:
» rash
» nihilistic
» abrasive
» rude
» possessive
» emotionally crippled

fears:
» herself
» monsters (as in cars)
» a loss of control or power
» vulnerability

» poppybird - mother
» coltfoot - father
» blackfire - brother
» ravenstep - brother
» cottonheart - stepfather
» whitebelly - stepbrother
» pearfur - stepsister
» ryetail - stepsister
» rosepaw - stepsister
» blizzardpaw - stepbrother


conception & kithood - her conception was unusual. poppybird, her mother, mated with coltfoot, but did not consider him to be her mate. she and her siblings, blackkit and ravenkit, were illegitimate. as a newborn, this was not something that bothered her. even as a young kit growing into an apprentice, she wasn't terribly bothered by the absence of a father figure - of course, curiosity would get the better of her, as it does with most kittens, and with some snooping, she found out the identity of her father.

she made it her sword duty to get to know him and to bring coltfoot and poppybird back together. wouldn't it be lovely to have a family? you know, a normal one. after all, blackkit and ravenkit were far more interested in playing with each other than with her. maybe... maybe her father would grow to love her most if she brought him back into the family!

apprenticeship - at the time of her apprenticeship, spottedkit stepped forward during the clan meeting and requested coltfoot to be her mentor. that way, it would be easy to bring her mother and father back together. all she had to do was learn what each of them liked - a quick bit of matchmaking - and bam! it was fullproof in her head. however, she knew she had to act fast, as poppybird's eyes were beginning to stray towards cottonheart.

unfortunately, she did not count on her apprenticeship to be as hard as it ultimately was. spottedkit - now spottedpaw - was pushed to the edge of her mental and physical limit with coltfoot. apparently, blood relation mattered little to the tom, and he put spottedpaw at a distance. try as she might, she could not get her biological father to love her.

it began to drive her mad. the harder she tried, the further he'd push her away. until finally, one day during training, she turned and began to quarrel with coltfoot, " don't you want to be my father?!"

his answer was less than satisfactory. it's safe to say, the cruel words that followed shattered the hopeful young cat's heart. spottedpaw was never quite the same after that. rejection was a heavy burden on her heart, and she became reclusive. aloof. withdrawn. the hurt festered and soon turned to anger, and then what some  might even call hatred. she was livid. coltfoot didn't love her, her mother was preoccupied with another male, and her two brothers were more interested in hanging around each other than her.

she resented what her family had turned out to be. she resented poppybird for blindly mating with someone who did not love his kits. she resented cottonheart for stealing her mother's heart. and she resented her brothers for paying more attention to each other than her. but, thankfully, it would not stay this way.

during a night when spottedpaw was too riled up to sleep, she snuck out of camp and towards the lake. she had made it a habit to climb to the top of the tallest trees and watch the world go by until sunrise. getting caught coming back into camp in the morning didn't bother her. she took the punishments given to her with a glare and a hiss but didn't argue. she couldn't get away with it - not for long - but each night she grew stronger. she could feel each trek up to the top of the trees get easier and easier. she was as strong as any warrior. not as skilled, but at least as strong.

on one particular night out, cottonheart followed her from the camp and to the lakes. she had made it a point not to speak to her step-father in the moons he had become a part of the family. she didn't want to speak to her step-siblings either. why should she? they were no family to her. but something strange happened that night. something which changed her perspective completely. in her blind rage, she ended up lashing out at the warrior - and he quickly bested her - and then corrected her. suddenly, he was teaching her things coltfoot never seemed to care enough to teach her.

the respect she gained for cottonheart that carried over back to the rest of her family. perhaps there was a place for her yet in this odd situation.

becoming a warrior - by the time she became a warrior - a few moons late due to her foul behaviors - it was clear what her name would be. claw, for her exceptional battle strength - a name which she took with pride after finally being taught properly by her step-father. she took the warrior's oath and committed herself to windclan.

the death of blackfire - it came as a shock to the clan, but none more so then the two siblings of blackfire. spottedclaw, who had finally found her place within the clan - within her own family - felt shattered once again. life was so fickle and delicate - it did not do to make attachments only to lose those close to you. she hardened herself once again after she lost her brother - but also vowed to protect those close to her. life was not easy - should she ever have an apprentice, she would show them first hand just how hard this life could be. they had to be ready. because she knew what it was like to not be ready - she knew what loss, heartbreak, and death looked like. smelled like. felt like.

currently - spottedclaw remains a dedicated warrior of windclan. she is renowned for her strength, but looked down upon for her continuously foul attitude. though she has a tendency to disobey authority, no one questions her loyalty to the clan - or to her family.